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The Buy & Fly Fry Tax

Published to Blog on 29 Oct 2010

It has come to my attention that not everyone has heard of the “Buy & Fly Fry Tax”. I am shocked that there are people who have not heard of it - they must live under rocks. Please let me explain.

McDonald's Fries
Half eaten fries!
Photo courtesy: EssjayNZ

I am sure you have heard or used the statement: “You buy, I’ll fly” or “You fly, I’ll buy” or similar. If not, I believe you understand its meaning: one person pays for the meal and the other runs to pick it up.

However, there are occasionally times when the “Buyer” is also the “Flyer” – like maybe when a Dad runs down to his neighborhood McDonalds to grab himself and his boys some lunch. In those circumstances any non-buyers/non-flyers are subject to the Buy and Fly Fry Tax. This means that the buyer/flyer has the right to eat as many fries from the bag on the trip home as he/she wishes without subtracting those fries from his/her own allotment of fries. Effectively the non-buyers/non-flyers pay a tax by giving up some unknown amount of their fries to the buyer/flyer in exchange for not having to pay for their food and not having to drive, walk, or ride to get it. 

There are some rules to the tax. The buyer/flyer cannot consume more fries than his/her original serving size. The buyer/flyer must pull the tax fries from the bag randomly and no more than few at a time. One at a time is preferable but anything up to a small handful is allowable. The buyer/flyer cannot remove a container of fries from the bag, if they remove a container of fries from the bag they are claiming those fries as theirs and from that point forward can only consume his/her own fries. Once he/she returns to the group the buyer/flyer is allowed to distribute the remaining fries as he/she sees fit. The non-buyers/non-flyers are not allowed to complain about any perceived “unfairness” – doing so could result in never being allowed to be a non-buyer/non-flyer again.

I realize that some buyer/flyer types (mostly Moms) buy an extra container of fries specifically for snacking on the way home so they don’t have to take fries away from anyone else. I strongly disagree with this practice. I believe that non-buyers/non-flyers must be charged the Buy and Fly Fry Tax to discourage them from becoming a habitual non-buyer/non-flyer.

Have you ever enacted the Buy & Fly Fry Tax? Have you ever been a “victim”?

 


Dan Hounshell
Web geek, nerd, amateur maker. Likes: apis, node, mobile, motorcycles, watches, food, Nashville, Savannah, Cincinnati and family. Dislikes: mean people
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